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What Business & Bullies Have In Common

I have received some e-mails asking me, "Sensei, you are supposed to be the Bully Proof Sensei; what are these e-mails about business?  Do they even have anything to do with each other?"


My Total Toughness Telecoaching program, which I created to coach parents on how to help their children when it came to bullying, ended up being attended by adults who were being bullied at work or having challenges in other areas of their lives.

My two times on the radio with The Bill Handel Show, Southern California's #1 rated morning radio show, more adults were calling for help about bullying bosses and cyber bullying then parents for their children.

Bullying has to start somewhere and I believe – with all my heart – that kids are learning it from their parents.

Think about it – what does every child do from their earliest age; they start to mimic their parents and what they do.

I remember taking my three-year old nephew on a trip to McDonald's when on the way, I was cut off by a knucklehead driver who wasn't paying attention.  I violently jerked the wheel to avoid hitting the guy and yelled, "S#$t!" at the same time.

For the rest of the day – much to his parents' chagrin – my nephew was saying, "S#$t, s#$t, s#$t" all day long, like a parrot.

Kids learn by example.  That tells me that these kids that are bullies are learning it from their parents, too.

How else do you explain all these adults looking for help in dealing with their bullying bosses, abusive spouses or loved ones and general pains in the you-know-what?

Bullies and bullying are everywhere in the adult world, they just don't call it bullying.  It is called harrassment, stalking, cyber-bullying or a bully boss.

It is also evident in crappy customer service, bad attitudes of employees and vendors, lousy performance of duty by involved parties and more.

You would think that in this "New Economy", where value and quality of experience is mandatory to compete and win business, that people in business would be getting "on the stick" and blowing potential clients, employees and vendors away with the quality and value of what they offer.

Sadly, it is not so.  On the rare occasion that someone DOES go "above and beyond" and deliver a knockout experience, it is so memorable that you want to run around and tell all your friends.

So what does this have to do with you if you are an employee with a bully boss, in a toxic relationship or, like many people I am working with, you are in a "funk" in personal and professional life?  What do you do?

First, stop whining.  It is just sad.  Kids whine because "they can't get what they want".  You are an adult; you can get anything you want if you want it badly enough and decide to GOYA – Get Off Your Azz and go get it.

By the way, I am just as guilty of whining as the next guy.  I was actually recorded once in a business meeting where I was on a hot seat – me sitting in a chair with a coach and a roomful of bright, creative entrepreneurs giving me coaching and advice on how to be more successful, sell more, etc…

You'd think I would have been furiously taking notes and getting excited.  Sad to say that I was terrified and all I did was sit up there and whine about why I couldn't that I was scared and so on.  It was pitiful and when I saw the tape, I was embarrassed beyond words.

I share that story so that you know that EVERYONE gets "The Whines" once in awhile.  The key is to catch yourself, kick yourself in the azz and get over it.

Next, you would sit down and do an exercise that I use for my private clients and Ultimate Bullying Solution Society members, which helps you strip away your B.S. and really identify who you are and what you want.

Once you "Get It" – and I mean really get it in your heart, your gut and your mind, you will be amazed at the transformation of energy you feel about you.  You will also notice an immediate change in what you will and will NOT tolerate from yourself in the terms of your attitudes and behaviors.

You will also notice a change in what you will and won't tolerate from others in their treatment of you.

This is only the beginning.  But, none of this will happen if you don't take the first step and decide that you are a valuable person, with unique gifts and abilities that can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

Take that first step…you are worth it.

Stay Strong,


P.S. – One of the steps I listed in this message is contained in my latest book, "The 10 Commandments of Supercharged Small Business Marketing" which will be coming soon.  The principles in this book are the same I have used to launch multiple businesses and many of them directly relate to employees and business owners alike.  

P.P.S. – New site and products will be ready soon.  Once I get a better feel for the date, I will let you know what to look for.  I will be putting together an offer that has NEVER been offered before, with thousands of dollars in bonus materials, f-r-e-e.  Stay tuned.

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