Watch Out for Baby Bullies & Here She Is…

I am living in a bit of a fog right now.

I am in NBBC – New Baby Boot Camp – because last Thursday, November 12th, the Missus and I welcomed our first-born child, Haley Lee Huff – all 6 lbs., 9oz. of her.

I forgot how noisy something so small could be.

Anywho, Mom and Dad are in sleep-deprivation mode and Dad hasn't gotten much work done, so today I thought I would share with you something I have noticed that I'm sure most new parents went through and, those of you who will be parents, need to be prepared for.

I'm talking about NBB – New Baby Bullies.

By definition, a NBB is anyone – and I mean ANYONE – that gives you un-asked for, un-invited, annoying, opinionated advice or guidance on anything having to do with a baby or being a new parent.

Nurses and doctors at the hospital when you deliver and are recovering don't count.  They are professionals and parents who are paid to know this stuff and so far, everything they have told us is gold-plated.

No, I am talking about the annoyingly opinionated friends and/or family.

There is the, "Oh God, whatever you do, don't get this vaccine or that vaccine" because they heard somewhere (like the Internet or 60 Minutes) that it MAY be bad or have side effects.

Then, the "Oh my God, you didn't get a Swine Flu shot, did you?"  Of course, this is right after the doctor orders both you and your wife to get one because you are caring for an infant.

Then there is the old standby, "Oh, you better breast feed for as long as possible" along with the look that infers if you don't, you are a bad parent, a bad person and should be tossed in bad Mommy and Daddy prison.

Oh, let's not forget the self-righteous, granola-eating, tree-hugging new agers that start every conversation with, "Well, for MY baby, we are doing blah-blah-blah…"

And, let us not leave out the pushy family members who have grown children who DON'T have grandkids yet and who, upon visiting you, start to literally boss you around, telling you what to do, what you are doing wrong, and then pushing you out of the way as they try to do it for you.

Last – and certainly not least – the parents who are paranoid about every germ, draft, temperature shift, food intake, squeak of baby or cough.

They all want to tell you what to do, they all think they are right.

I can tell you that nothing pains a man more than to see his lovely, caring, patient wife in tears because she thinks she is doing something wrong, or less of a mother, or "broken", just because she is having challenges breast-feeding and supplementing with formula – and someone finds out and tells her she is making a mistake.

So – what do you do.

You take back your power, that's what.

The first thing you do is sit down with your spouse and have a heart-to-heart.  You tell her how much you love her and that no matter what, the two of you together are great parents and will figure it out.

You also tell her that no matter what anyone says, thinks or does, WE are the ones that say what will and won't happen when it comes to the child.

Next, you use the same approach that you would with a schoolyard bully or Boss who is a bully – you have a direct, frank, candid conversation with them where you establish your position, what you will and won't tolerate and then ask if they can work within those guidelines or if there is going to be a problem.

Once you do that, now everyone knows the rules or game plan.  Before, no one knew the rules and that is why they decided it was okay to tell you what to do or what you were doing wrong without asking permission.

For the most part, none of them mean any harm, but by taking power away from you, they are harming you in ways they don't even recognize.  And, by allowing it, you are harming yourself, too.

It is not easy, but you can do it.

I know, because that is what the Missus and I are doing right now, almost daily.  So far, only one family member got their undies in a bundle, but now they understand.

Take back your power.  You are the Master of Your Destiny and the only person that you are going to spend twenty four hours a day, seven days a week with…you might as well like the person you are spending all that time with.

Stand up to those New Baby Bullies – and watch out for explosive baby burps; they are murder on black t-shirts.

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – Many of the principles that I teach to private clients, businesses and kids when it comes to "Taking Back your Power" when it comes to the bullies in your life are taught in the course, "Bully Proof Kids" at http://www.bullyproofkids.com/index1.html.  Check it out today.

P.S. – For all of you who have contacted me, telling me to post a picture, here she is…