Discover Your Biggest Enemy…& Your Greatest Ally

Last week, I got a phone call from an old friend that I haven't heard from or talked to in years.

We got caught up on what we had been doing in all the time we hadn't been in touch.  I told him of my martial arts, publishing, coaching, consulting and other projects, along with getting married and starting a family; he told me of his graduation from school and pursuit of his career.

When we got on to the subject of relationships, he told me he was still single because he just couldn't find "the right one".

When we started talking about it further, it became clear as to why he couldn't seem to find the right one.

He came from a family that battled alcoholism and bi-polar disorder; his mother was abusive and father largely absent.  He had put himself through school and made his way all on his own, with no help from family and no feeling of security or support.  One of his main beliefs was that he didn't need anyone and could do it all on his own.

While on one hand, he desperately wanted a relationship and a family, his main programming in his head said, "You don't need anyone; you can do it by yourself."

That belief, thrown in with his attraction to "cra-zee" women that had all sorts of emotional issues – like his mother had – and you could see why he had problems "finding the right one".

If you have been following my writings, you know that I coach people on "Taking Back Their Power" from the bullies, energy suckers and negative b.s. in their lives. 

You also know that I firmly believe that many people – by accident, without knowing it – are attracting those things into their lives.

That's what was happening with my friend.  Without knowing or realizing it, he had conflicting beliefs and images in his mind that clashed with each other; even though he was attracting what he wanted in his life, he was attracting the wrong things and they were actually clashing with his internal beliefs about himself.

He was a classic case of what I call the "Your Own Worst Enemy" syndrome.

He thought he knew what he wanted, but then when he got what it was he thought he wanted, he was miserable and it drove him nuts.

Not fun.

I know it isn't fun because I have been that guy.  I have been in that same situation more than once and I know how tough it is to look in the mirror and realize, "Oops; the one constant thing in every area that is driving me nuts is…me."

I spent some time with my friend, asking him questions to see if I could get him to see what the main cause of his frustrations were; unfortunately, in doing that, I violated one of the cardinal rules of consulting and coaching:  never, ever give free advice, especially to friends and family.

The message wasn't getting through so I switched gears, finished up the conversation and promised to stay in touch.

I hope he thinks about what we talked about, but unless he changes some programming in his head, he is just going to attract more of the same in the future.

When it comes to bullies, energy suckers and negative b.s. – as well as love, success and happiness – YOU are in charge of it all; you are either your own worst enemy or your greatest ally.  It all starts in that six inches between your ears.

You master how you see yourself, the kind of person you are, what you will and won't stand for and what you want your life to look like, and you will be amazed at what starts to happen.

But – don't wait; time is the most precious thing there is.  It is the only thing that once you spend it – it's gone.  You CAN'T get any back.

To your best,

Sensei Harrison Huff

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