Why Bullying Starts at Home

 My sister Kim called yesterday and shared a story with me that made my blood boil – but also showed me what I have believed to be true for a very long time – bullying starts at home.

Kim told me that she was at a family function in the local park where she lives and one of her four kids – my nephew, Stevie, was playing on a jungle jim with another local boy.

She said she watched in horror as the other boy playing with my nephew saw a branch that had fallen, went and picked it up, walked back to the jungle jim…and hammered my nephew into the ground with it.

He just walked up, knocked Stevie in the back with it, and then after Stevie fell, he kept hitting him with it.

The sad part…this kid's Mom was standing there, watching the whole thing and saying nothing.

My sister came running like a good Momma Bear, pulled the boy off my nephew and then turned around and, like the tough girl she is, lit up the Mom that had just stood idlely by watching her son pound my nephew.

A heated argument ensued that looked like it might get physical until my brother-in-law and his best friend split the two ladies up and sent the other mom on her way.

The interesting fact that came out of the confrontation was about the family of the boy who pounded my nephew with a tree branch.

That family is well-known in the neighborhood.  He comes from one of four boys and all the boys are heavily into sports, especially wrestling.

Apparently, the father of these boys pays his sons every time they win a match in wrestling, under one condition…

Not only do they have to win – they have to make their opponent cry.

No crying, no payment for the win.

This is a grade A, ruby-red prime example of how bullying starts at home.  This little kid – age four – is getting the example from his parents and his brothers about how to be a bully – and it is working like a charm.

What parent PAYS his kids to make other kids cry?  Are you kidding me?

I'm all for paying a child for accomplishments.  I believe in a meritocracy – the better you perform the more you get paid – but teaching your kids to inflict emotional pain on others and then paying them when they do it well is NOT right.

That's stupid.  And, it is just ONE way you create a bully.

I wonder what may happen in the future when one of these genius's takes it too far off the mat one day and seriously injures someone.  I am not a lawyer, but I think it would be fair to say that the possibility of a lawsuit could come around to the parents for what they taught their kids should something serious happen.

Bullying starts at home.  As parents, we want to set the example – let's make sure we are setting the example we intended to for our kids.  

Take Back Your Power,

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – Parents can learn 9 Ways to Bully Proof their child so that their child does NOT become the target of a bully – learn how at http://www.bullyproofkids.com.