Fed Up Executive Stands Up to His Bully Boss

This morning I cracked open the e-mail to find a message from one of my private coaching clients who I've been working with for several months.

His situation may sound familiar to you; a professional with multiple years of experience, very good at his job, but not happy where he is because of his boss, who is a grade A, ruby-red, number one bully.

You know the type, loud, in-your-face, belittling, backstabbing, nothing is every good enough…the kind of guy who sukks the life right out of you when you have to deal with him.

Like many people, this man was afraid to stand up for himself, with one of the largest reasons being he is afraid to lose his job in this economy.

Well – check out what finally happened when he decided to take back his power and stand up for himself…

"Sensei,

My bully boss and I went toe to toe and nose to nose on Thursday. He spent the morning berating me about the results of a project that had been assembled and put together without my knowledge or input.

That afternoon he assembled the company's asset managers (about 12 people) and explained to them the importance of this survey and why they should meet full compliance.

He then proceeded to make me an example by berating and belittling me in front of my co-workers. Kind of like a school yard bully pushing someone around who appears powerless.

I remembered in our sessions  that if you were going to maintain you own dignity and self-respect there is
no way you can give someone permission to bully and belittle you in a public (let alone private) setting.

I got so mad I was seeing red. It felt like something snapped inside of me. I got right in face and told him flat out I don't appreciate someone do something behind my back which I would ultimately be held accountable; that the survey was not only over the top it was flat out dangerous to have in a file where an auditor might find it.

I believe my voice was at a very high level. (Yelling) Like I said, I was very angry. He tried to push back by yelling back. Telling me I had no right "dissing" him like that. That's when I let him have it.

I told him that he had been treating me with disrespect for the last 18 months and I was sick and tired
of it and that he no longer had permission to treat me like that. He said  fine you can leave the room. I said fine and stormed out of the meeting and went back to my office.

Although still fired up, I calmed down and starting to work on modifying the stupid survey, which looked like it was created by someone who should be in the Obama administration.

After the meeting ended my boss came back to my office and quietly closed the door. My first thought was "Oh boy, I'm going to get fired."

But…..you guessed it. He apologized.

He said that I was right to be angry and he was sorry for treating me with disrespect. He wanted to clean the slate and start over going forward. I said fine but whether he knows it or not the rules have changed. I have drawn the line and it's up to me to enforce that boundary.

Thanks for the positive input and coaching on how to deal with this difficult situation.

-G.

PS – I think a couple of my co-workers pooped their pants. The next day they were treating
me with a certain amount of respect. And a few of them even came by and said that
I did the right thing."

G,

I can't tell you how proud I am of you standing up to this guy.  More importantly, you stood up for YOURSELF.

You have taken back your power with this guy; now is the time to give yourself a pat on the back for a job well-done and then start to look at where else in your life can you start to stand up for yourself.

This is just the beginning.  I know that you are going to grow more and more as you move forward with your new powerful self-image.

Anyone can do this in ANY area of their life.  Finances, career, health, weight loss, relationships, you name it…you can change any of those in an INSTANT – when you decide to take back your power and make things over in the image that you desire.

Take back your power,

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – Find out more on how to take your power back when it comes to bullies – and more – at http://www.bullyproofkids.com.