Academic Writes Open Letter to President Obama about Bullying

Today I read an article that warmed my heart and stirred my soul.

Izzy Kalman, a fellow expert in the field of bullying, wrote an open letter to President Obama titled, "The Speech President Obama Should Make About Bullying".

It is fairly long so I won't be able to give you all the high points contained in the speech; when you get a moment, follow the link above and read it for yourself.  What I can do is give you the main part of the speech where Mr. Kalman absolutely knocked it out of the park.

Bottom line: no one – no government entity, no law, no politician, no nothing – can eliminate bullying.  To put it in his words, "The only bully-free zone that I know of is called Heaven."

Mr. Kalman goes on to say that it is the personal responsibility of each and every one of us to deal with bullying – both to prepare ourselves to deal with a bully if we become a target and also educate ourselves so that the bullying doesn't start in the first place.

I couldn't agree more. I wrote in the book, "Bullies Suck" that we are one hundred percent responsible for how we choose to feel and how we choose to act when we become the target of a bully.  Mr. Kalman and I both agree that when you react to a bully, you give away your power to that bully, which makes him feel better, which encourages him to pick on you more.

Bullies bully others for only two reasons – something you are doing is attracting them to you (like you are making them mad) or you are giving off what I call the "Victim Vibe" and they think you are an easy target to pick on.  Again, if you react to what it is they do to you, they get a feeling of power.

The only way to overcome this is to "Take Back Your Power" by CHOOSING how you respond to bullying.  By choosing – and NOT reacting or lashing out – you never give the bully the power in the first place and the bullying incident will be short-lived.

It is rare that I agree with academics or psychologists on this subject matter, as most of them are teaching the same old, outdated information that has been passed on for generations and hasn't worked, but in this case, Mr. Kalman is dead-on accurate.

Bullies are never going away.  Bullying is never going to stop. Don't listen to anyone who promises you the moon when it comes to stopping bullying.

It starts – and ends – with you.

Best,

Sensei