Polish Immigrant Commits Suicide Due to Bullying

In another sad story, a vigil was held Tuesday, Sept. 10th for 15 year-old Polish immigrant Bart Palosz, who committed suicide after the first day of school last month in Greenwich, Connecticut.

He was a former Boy scout, played video games, volunteered at a local library and by all reports, had a heart of gold. The problem was he was huge for his age – 6-feet-three – had a heavy Polish accent and was shy. Friends say he was awkward in his big body and didn't project confidence. A family friend said he had been being bullied for years before he finally shot himself.

More disturbing, in the days leading up to the shooting, entries from his Google Plus social profile page has him making comments and asking questions like, "If I were to stab my eye out due to school-caused insanity, who would miss me?" His final entry is, "I have chosed to go with 3 peoples advice and kill myself; I just wish it was faster."

The school system has, of course, issued letters and statements, all promising a "full investigation", laying out more policies on bullying, starting a council to promote tolerance, etc…

I don't know about you, but I am getting sick and tired of reading these headlines and hearing about more kids killing themselves over bullying. I am getting even MORE sick and tired about hearing the powers-that-be wring their hands and promise "investigations", "more policies" and "councils".

I am sick to my stomach that someone didn't stick up for Bart. That someone wasn't monitoring his social media posts. That Bart felt like there was nothing he could do, no one he could turn to, nowhere to go. It sickens me to think that people in his native Poland will learn of this tragedy and think that Americans are intolerant of immigrants, when in fact the country was founded and built by immigrants and is still one of the best countries in the world for immigrants to come and build a life of their dreams.

It is up to us as parents – you and I – to make sure we have all the tools necessary to prepare our kids to deal with the bullies in their lives. School is not the first or last place that any of us will ever run into bullies. In fact, learning to deal with bullies in NOT just about bullying – it is about dealing with LIFE.

Situations are going to come up throughout your life or the lives of children and in these situations, there is going to be a "bully".

It could be alcohol or an addiction. It could be money management. It could be a relationship. It could be a business deal. It could be a health issue. Pick anything in your life right now that is an emotional or physical challenge; doesn't it have the same characteristics of a bully?

Let's say you have high cholesterol and need to lose weight. That is a "bully" situation. How?

Well, you are weak when it comes to food and/or exercise and your schedule; if you weren't, you would be eating right and exercising, yes? But you're not, because you feel pressure to work, or pressure to have more family time, or pressured into the couch to watch Monday Night Football (Thank God football is back!). Either way, you are weak and food is strong, so you are in trouble.

How do you stand up to this bully (lack of food,time and exercise)? Well, first you are going to have to decide you want to be healthy. And I mean, DECIDE. "Decide" in the latin root of the word literally means "to cut off from"; meaning, when you "decide" to do something, you "cut off" the option or alternative to do anything else. You have to decide and mean it. Like, "for reals".

Then you have to find the guts to face whatever the outside forces are that are controlling your time. It may mean putting your foot down to your boss, your schedule, your lovely wife, your kids, the television or Aunt Edna. Bottom line, you are going to have face certain situations or people and set boundaries.

Once you have done that – which by the way, is the hardest part – then you have to start, and don't stop.

That is it. It is that simple. It is not EASY. "Simple" and "Easy" are not the same thing. It will require work – and bravery – but you can do it.

I have more coming in the next few days. I have decided to redesign everything about my bullying programs so that I can get as much information out to as many people as possible to whomever needs or wants it – for as little as possible. Yes, there is tons of free information out there on bullying, but come on; if all that free information out there worked, bullying wouldn't be getting worse, would it?

Stay strong,

Sensei

P.S. – If you don't have it yet, get the book now – "Bullies Suck". It is a literal "How-to" guide on how to prepare yourself or your kids for bullies, and then what to do if faced with a bully.