More Laws on Bullying are NOT the Answer

Here are the headlines from this morning in my Gmail alerts regarding the topic of bullying:

"Bullying at School: Law Should Be Stronger" – Boston Globe

"Bullying Accidents Threaten Children's Safety, Experts Say" – Orlando Sentinel

"Bullying Overlooked, Says Teen" – Independent Online

"Anti-Bullying Plan to Expand in Jordan School District" – Desert News

"Stricter Anti-Bullying Laws Include Social Media" – My Wabash Valley

These are the headlines; do you notice anything that is missing from these headlines? I see many stories referring to more "laws", regulations or expanding of "awareness", and I see stories of how bullying is bad for children or is being overlooked. (None of this is news; if you follow this site or any of my previous sites, you know we have been citing statistics and sharing stories for YEARS that bullying is getting worse…)

What is missing – sadly – is ANY story on what parents and/or children are learning to DO about bullying.

There is no shortage of celebrities who are speaking up, starting foundations and trying to set examples or get the word out regarding bullying. God Bless them, I hope they continue to do this and hope they convince more of their peers who are influential in the media and in the lives of young people to also stand up and speak up.

There is no shortage of policies, lawmakers, schools, districts and other public entities that all agree that bullying must be stopped and are crafting or implementing more policies, laws, and guidelines to try and "stop bullying" or create environments of tolerance where bullying is not acceptable.

All of this is good – but it is off the mark.

Bullying is NOT going away. Look how hard it is to get yourself to NOT eat that brownie, or to exercise every day, or stop being a slob and organize your sock drawer. If it's that hard to get yourself to do things, you think you are going to be able to control someone else?  You can't control a person's upbringing. You can't control what makes a person tick. Yes, you can give them information and try to educate them, try to create conditions that encourage not only the consumption of the information, but also an understanding of that information and a forum to use the information; but ultimately, you cannot control a person.

There will always be racists, bigots and homophobes; the strong will always prey on the weak. This is in our DNA; it has not changed in millions of years and no amount of Lady Gaga concerts or videos is going to change that.

What you CAN change, and what you CAN control – and what is missing from those headlines above – is Y-O-U.

YOU are the answer. YOU can control how you act. YOU can control your brain. YOU can control how you feel, what you will and will not tolerate in your world. YOU can also be the one that decides to take back your power. YOU can be the one who teaches a child how to stand up for himself; how it's okay to do the right thing, even if it is unpopular, upsets others or goes against the norm.

This is why I wrote the book, "Bullies Suck" – which you can get here – and why I have something very exciting coming soon (in September) when all kids on both coasts have started school.

It is time to STOP looking for others to solve the problem of bullying and start taking responsibility and action to prepare ourselves and our kids for what to do when they are bullied – because bullying isn't just for kids and it is NOT going away.

Stay strong,

Sensei

P.S. – Stay tuned for what is coming in September. In the meantime, "Bullies Suck" is like Anti-Bullying 101; it is a must have for parents or adults so you can get your hands on over two decades' worth of information, techniques and principles that make you stronger and able to stand up to the bullies in your life. It is simply a must-have. Get it here.