How to Deal with the Big, Bad, Bully Boss

At one time or another, everyone has had the Big Bad Wolf for a boss.

You know what type I'm talking about; the guy that swoops in every once in awhile, yells and screams, pounds his fist on the desk and tells everyone they had better start following his orders, "or else".

Then, he swoops of in to the clouds, never telling you how to do what he was screaming and ordering to do, when he will be back or what expectations he has for your performance.

I call it "Eagle Style Management" – they swoop in out of nowhere, crap all over everything, beat their wings, screech, and then fly off in to the night.

When faced with the Big Bad Wolf, what do most people do?

They sukk it up.  They take it.  They scurry around like field mice caught in the open, a hungry wolf hot on their heels.

What makes this even more poisonous and dangerous for the people exposed to this is that while they sit there, sukking it up and taking this B.S., they are muttering under their breath, swallowing their anger and saying things like, "If I didn't need this job…", "If I caught that S.O.B outside, I'd teach him a thing or two…"

The truth is – and this is going to sting – your Big Bad Wolf of a boss is YOUR fault.

Yep – He is the Big Bad Wolf because YOU are allowing him to be.

I'm not saying you can march in to your boss's office, start calling him names, be insubordinate or anything else; what I am saying is that the BBW acts the way he does because no one has ever stood up to him and told him, "That's not gonna fly with me."

You always treat others with respect.  Your mom taught you the Golden Rule and it always applies.

But – in the martial arts we teach respect and the Golden Rule until the situation changes and the rules don't apply.  Then you have to do one of two things: one is to get the other person to get back in to the game where you are both playing by the same rules, or two, deal with the person as a threat.

In the case of the BBW, that would mean meeting privately – out of earshot from others so as to not make anyone look bad – and calmly explaining your position.

You explain that while you understand your role and your boss's' role, the manner in which the communication is happening, the style, structure, whatever…is unacceptable to you and you are there to work out an arrangement that will work for you both.

You must have complete, look-him-right-in-the-eye confidence with a steady, strong voice when you do this – even if you are terrified inside.

The BBW – bullies – only understand power, which means you have to demonstrate that you have some for him to take you seriously.

Stop giving your power away to the Big Bad Wolf.  Get back your self-esteem and improve your self-image ten seconds.

Take Back Your Power,

Sensei Huff