Turn to Facebook Instead of Standing Up to Bully?

I know what it is like to feel as if there is nowhere to turn, no one to talk to, no one who will help.

I have been powerless against a physical attack at age 4. I have felt so hopeless that I have run away from home and hid all day at the age of 7. I have been bullied to the point of depression in high school. I have been so broke and desperate that I lived in my Toyota pickup truck – with all my worldly possessions stuffed in the bed of the truck – for a few days. I have been so heartbroken that I was sure I would never be able to find the perfect person for me ever again. Believe me when I say, "Been There, Done That" when it comes to feeling helpless.

It is why I understand why a father – desperate to help his son, who is being bullied – would turn to Facebook for help.

According to his story, his son has been bullied all school year and was physically body-slammed three times in the last incident. The father has reported the bullying to the school administration and security. When the father called the local police, the local police said it was the responsibility of school security. When the father contacted school security, they said it was the victim's fault for walking into the area where the bully was. Security said the boy, "Walked into the lion's den", so it was basically HIS fault.

Desperate and feeling as if the school system is protecting the bully, the father does the only thing he can think of – he turns to Facebook to see if he can "shame" the school system into doing something. 

I commend his father for doing SOMETHING; at least he isn't surrendering and just accepting the fact that the school system is dropping the ball. I mean, what more could he do, right?

Plenty.

Do you notice the underlying thought process that this man is going through? If you look closely at what he is doing by going to Facebook, it seems like he may be thinking, "Okay; I have done all I can do. I went to the authorities and they did nothing. I went to the school system and they tried to blame my son. I have no other options, so I will try a public relations campaign and see what that does."

It looks like what he is thinking – and what most people think when caught in these situations – is that OTHER PEOPLE or OTHER ENTITIES are needed to solve this problem and he and his son are not allowed to. It also seems that he is not even thinking about one approach he and his son could take to solve this problem…

Like take matters into your own hands. Find out the bully's name and contact information. Go directly to the parents of the bully, inform them of what is going on and ask how they are going to get it to stop.

Most importantly, how about teaching the son how to fight back and protect himself? I know, I know; the squeamish people reading this right now think I am a lunatic and promoting violence. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I am talking about empowering this child with the beliefs and tools that allow him to value himself and protect himself from physical harm. We all agree that it is completely unacceptable and wrong to physically attack another human, but when did we decide that it was A-OK to DO NOTHING if YOU are the one being attacked? On what planet does that make any sense?

On top of that, how do you think you would feel – or this boy, who is being bullied – if you knew in your heart that there was NOTHING to be afraid of from a bully? If you know you can protect yourself and not be harmed by the bully, wouldn't that also remove any of the power from his taunts or threats? One of the best things about knowing you can protect yourself is the sense of calm and security that comes with that knowledge. You aren't bothered by threats, taunting or anything else because you know you can protect yourself and have nothing to fear.

This goes for you as an adult, too. What if you are being "bullied" by your boss a work? What if you are being threatened with losing your job? How would knowing how to protect yourself in that situation work?

Simple. In that case, you would want to be financially able to protect yourself. Get your finances in order so you are NOT at the mercy of a bully boss that is holding the prospect of you losing your job over your head. Simple? Yes. Easy? No.

But it CAN be done. You can do it. If others have, you can, too. When it comes to making sure our kids are trained and prepared to stand up to bullies, we can do that, too. You don't need permission, you don't need to "surrender" to other people or other entities to solve you and your child's bullying problems and it is okay to stand up for yourself – even if it means going against whatever "everyone else" thinks is the right way to handle your business.

Your business is just that – YOUR BUSINESS. Handle it the best way for you and your family.

Stay strong,

Sensei

P.S. – A great start is the book, "Bullies Suck", which you can get on Amazon Kindle for the digital version, or you can get right here on this site at https://ultimatebullyingsolution.com/bulliessuck. Not only does it have tools to mentally stand up to the bullies in your life, but you can get on the waiting list for the Bully Proof Martial Arts Home Training course, too.