Bullying Featured on Oprah

My Mom called me the other day and told me to make sure I watched Oprah that day – she was doing a show on bullying.

Imagine my surprise when I went and checked out the show online.

The very mother that I wrote about whose eleven year old son committed suicide was featured on the show, along with other parents who had lost children to bullying.

Oprah said on the show, “Today begins a national conversation on bullying.”

Good for her.

Her show featured parents who had lost children, an expert on bullying as well as a boy who was being bullied – and had been under the treatment of the “bullying expert” – for three years.

They all talked about how painful bullying is.  How sweet their sons were that killed themselves.  How they missed the signs of depression in each boy.  How one boy was being cyberbullied by kids.

They talked about how bullying can become a culture.  They talked about how once it becomes a culture, it is more of a school problem than a single bully.

Here is the one thing they ALL missed – and it makes my blood boil…

No one mentioned – not once – any sort of language where they said they took charge of the situation, taught their son how to stand up for himself, taught him how to protect himself emotionally and physically.

Not once did I hear that they put their child in to any sort of program that would raise his self-esteem or self-image.  All they all talked about was how they went to the school system, told them to ignore the bullies, joined the PTA, went
and spoke to counselors at the school but nothing worked.

Nothing worked because they took the power away from the kids.  They tried to “love” their child through it and “go with the system”.

The so-called “expert” that was interviewed on the show had a boy she was treating for bullying – for three years – and the bullying had NOT stopped yet!

Three years?  And she is the expert!

I have worked with children for three WEEKS and had the bullies stop picking on them.

How did I do that?  By NOT focusing on what the school system says you can and can’t do, not allowing the victim to “work it out” or “go through the phase” and not just sitting there and talking about how the bullies don’t mean it or they
will stop if you just ignore them.

That crapola doesn’t work – and unfortunately, these parents learned that terrible lesson the worst way possible.

Parents are TEACHING their children to be victims.  We are not teaching our children how to speak up, stand up for themselves and when needed, make a physical display
of power to establish boundaries and let people know who they can and cannot mess with.

Kids can be very resilient if they are given the right tools from the start.

Make sure your child has the right tools and is trained right before they become the target of bullies.  Do not rely on anyone or anything to protect them or empower them,
except for what you as a parent teach them, and show them by example.

You can get one of the best courses available on this subject at http://www.bullyproofkids.com.

Take Back Your Power,

Sensei Huff