Warning: Bullies Hide In Plain Sight

Dictionary.com defines a bully as, “a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.”

If you believe in this definition, bullies are very easy to spot.  If you remember back to the video of the boy from Australia that I wrote about back in March, it was very evident who the bully was (oddly enough, the smaller boy) and who was the victim.

But, did you know that there are bullies that hide – in plain sight – that kick our butts every single day, and we allow  it?

Bullies are NOT always loud, abusive and easy to spot.  A bully and/or bullying is anything that takes your power away and contributes to you feeling powerless or like a victim.  Anything.

Are you overweight?  Have you promised yourself forever that you are going to “Get back in shape, lose twenty pounds, etc.” yet you are still the same weight and level of health that you have been for years?  Or, are you on the latest diet that has become popular, but for some reason, your weight isn’t changing at all?

I know I have gone through periods where I told myself I was getting healthier, losing weight, eating better – but the reality was I was an LLPOF – Liar, Liar, Pants-On-Fire; I was doing pretty much the exact same things, but was telling myself I was “doing better”.  In this case, food was my bully and I was allowing it to push me around.

What about your relationships?  We all know someone who isn’t happy in a marriage or relationship; guilt is used as a weapon, or anger and intimidation is used to bludgeon the other person into compliance.  The person being manipulated usually sucks it up, saying things like, “This is what marriage is about – compromise”, or, “She doesn’t mean it; she’s just under a lot of stress right now.”

For many, fear of confrontation, emotional injury or being alone is greater than the pain of existing in the relationship.  Many forfeit their happiness for the rest of their lives, simply to minimize the arguments and keep things “as-is.”  You can be bullied for life by a relationship, the other person in the relationship or the fear of confrontation or unknown.

Money is a big one, too.  When you think of your financial situation, what you would like to do about it or how you could change it, do you immediately get scared and tell yourself  you can’t do that because of the economy, your work situation, the kids, what would your parents think, your friends…?

I can’t tell you how many people I have worked with or known – myself included – that had the power to change their financial situation for the better if they had the guts to go against conventional wisdom, believe in themselves and do what they had to do to accomplish their financial goals.

Every single time in my life, when I have found the courage to challenge myself to face my fears when it came to money, I won.  My financial situation always improved for the better and I accomplished my goals.  Was it easy?  Absolutely not.  Painful?  In some instances, yes.  Was it worth it?  Every single time.

When it comes to money, if we allow our fears to control our actions, money and fear are the bullies.  When it comes to anything, if you are allowing your fear to control your actions – or you are lying to yourself about your behavior in relation to the thing – that thing is bullying you.

There is only one way to take back your power from the bullies in your life.  I go into details about how to do this in the book, “Bullies Suck” and many of the courses which are going to be made available very soon.

For now, simply realizing and identifying where there may be bullies in your life hiding in plain sight is a good start.  Once you realize their are bullies in your life, you can start to imagine what your life would look and feel like if you stood up to the bullies in your life and took back your power.

Start imaging and getting the feelings now – it will be a huge step in the right direction and will help carry you through the next steps.

To your best,

Sensei Huff