The Problem with Bullying – and America – is Victimtude

Wow – where does the time go?  As I was getting back to work after the long holiday weekend, I realized that, in all my focus with the Bully Proof Kids project – new website, products, newsletters, memberships, partnerships, interviews and more – that I hadn't written to you in quite some time.  So…

Happy Belated Birthday to America – I hope you and yours had a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend.

Since this is the first time I've written in a bit, I wanted to share with you a powerful example of exactly what the problem is in our country when it comes to bullies – and, how this attitude is spreading into every area in our lives, not just bullying.

In a New York Times article, "Online Bullies Pull Schools Into the Fray", dated June 27, 2010, there is an example of exactly what NOT to do when it comes to bullying, and the fact that bullying doesn't stop just because school is out.

In the article, it tells the story of parents of a sixth-grade  daughter went to the principal of the school and showed the principal dozens of inappropriate text messages that were sent to their daughter from a boy at her school.

They begged the principal to, "Do Something".  The principal did the right thing and explained that the messages were sent on a weekend; school was out.  The school couldn't discipline the boy.

And then – and this was well done by the principal – he asked a simple question; had they approached the boy's parents?

Her parents said…no; too awkward, they said; the boy was on the same team that the girl's Dad coached.

Then the principal asked if they had reported or gone to the police.

Nope – too long and drawn out, her parents said.  They just wanted someone to "do something".

And that is the problem.

The principal is much to politically correct to say this, so I will…the proper thing to tell these parents is to grow a pair.

God Forbid you actually grow a pair, stand up for your daughter – which shows her that you love and care for her; that you will do anything to protect her and thereby greatly raising her self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem – and march over to that boy's house and – eyeball to eyeball, parent to parent – handle your business.  Personally.

Scary?  Yes.  Awkward?  Definitely.  Rare in this day and age?  Sadly it is.

This is the problem with bullying now and, dare I say, our country.

We have become a nation of sheep.  We are so politically correct and emotionally weak that we can't even have candid discussions or disagreements face-to-face anymore.  It seems like with the advances of technology, the Internet, e-mail, video games and electronic everything, we are becoming more and more socially stunted when it comes to communication, particularly face to face.

More importantly, "Victimtude" is everywhere.

Victimtude is the attitude of, "I'm a victim; I'm helpless.  This is somebody's fault.  Somebody has to come fix this, save me, make this right, etc…"

Victimtude is so widespread and acceptable now that when someone DOES stand up, take responsibility and attack a problem head-on, rather than be admired, they are villified.

A perfect example is the state of Arizona.  Whether or not you agree or disagree with their position or what they have done, they should be admired for their attitude and action.

They felt they did everything they could – begged the government, passed what laws they could, enforced the laws they had, left no stone unturned – and it wasn't enough.  They had a huge problem that was out of control, dangerous for the citizens, illegal and expensive.

They finally took the bull by the horns and did something.  And as soon as they did, they were attacked.

Again, whether or not you agree is NOT the point; the point is that when it comes to bullying – or any other major problem, challenge or desire in your life – living in Victimtude is NOT going to solve anything, or get you any closer to the outcome you want.

The only way to get what it is you want in life, stop bullying or handle the challenges in your life is to "Grow a Pair" and attack the situation, head on.

Concern yourself not with what others will think or how they will react; only concern yourself with taking the actions and behaviors that lead you in the direction of what it is you want, what you think is right.

Go from Victim to Victor, Chump to Champion.  No one is coming to the rescue…it is up to you.

Be your best,

Sensei Huff

P.S. – This attitude is discussed at great lengths, along with stories as examples, along with 9 Tips for Parents to Deal with Bullying in the course, "Bully Proof Kids".  Just because school is out doesn't mean bullying isn't happening at summer camp or out on the playground.  Get yours today here.