Why NOT to Work on Self Improvement

Last week I was on a phone call with my coach and I was so mad… I wanted to throw the phone through the wall.

I was mad because, like a good coach, he was trying to get me to stretch my mind and grow.  He was using one of my favorite techniques to do this…

He was laughing at me.  Loudly.

What happened was that we had connected at a time when I was having one of "those" days.

I was tense; I had the feeling as if I wasn't working hard enough, achieving enough, making enough muney, doing the right things, etc.

In short, I was in a funk.

In the past, when this happened, I spent muney.

I looked for books to buy, classes to take, Mastermind groups to join, you name it.  When I felt this way, I would start to go deep into self-examination, looking for the reasons why I didn't do the things I said I wanted to, why I felt like I felt, why, why, why…

I was in the middle of this tirade when my coach started laughing and asked, "Do you see what you are doing to yourself?"

I said, "No – what?"

He said, "By saying to yourself that something must be wrong with you and then going back, pouring and agonizing over every mistake you have ever made and searching for the answers why, you are actually reinforcing the belief that something is wrong with you in the first place."

Whoa.  Wait a minute.  What about understanding why you are wired the way you are?  What about going back and healing past hurts?  What about knowing why so that you understand why you are the way you are?

Nope.  By giving attention and feeling to the thought that I had to know why I acted and felt this way – which I believe meant something was wrong with me – I actually reinforced the belief that something was wrong in the first place.

That is why I felt like I never knew enough, was good enough, or could make enough.

I wasn't using the books, tapes, courses, college education, street smarts, sales skills, Mastermind groups or anything else to develop and grow even better – I was looking at them as tools to "fix" me or heal some old thinking, instead of what they were designed for.

Just like using tools, you have to use the proper tool for the proper job.  You try to paint a baseboard with a shovel and your baseboards won't come out right, no matter how many coats of paint you put on.

Now I understood what one of my mentors, Matt Furey, meant when he talked about the difference between competence and confidence.

I understood what Anthony Robbins meant when he said, "If knowledge was the key, all smart people would be successful."

It is what Dr. Maxwell Maltz, the founder of Psycho-Cybernetics meant when he said you have to look at yourself with "Kind Eyes".

There is nothing wrong with you.  You came into this world pre-wired for health, wealth and happiness.  If you believe you were created in an image of something greater than you – and that creator or whatever it was is perfect – that means you are created perfectly, too.

You CAN create anything you want in your life – IF – you believe that you are already good to go to start with.

Put away the idea that you aren't good enough or there is not enough; there is more than enough and you are more than good enough.

Put away the idea that you can't deal with the bullies in your life, that you are not strong enough, that you need help from the teacher, school system or anyone else.

Take you focus off of what you don't want and ON to what you do want – and watch what happens.

To Your Best, 

Sensei Harrison Huff

P.S. – Forget self improvement – you don't need "improving".  Focus on self development; growing and getting even better and stronger so that you can be an even better you.

P.P.S. – This principle, along with many more, are covered in the course "Bully Proof Kids".  Check it our for yourself and learn How to Bully Proof Your Child for life.